why recipes are holding you back in the kitchen

Written By Kristyn Granahan

Recipes aren't actually helping you become a better cook, and they might even be holding you back.

Cooking is all about techniques. Once you learn and understand the fundamentals, you can cook practically anything (and probably even save a dish that might be going to shit lol). And you don't need to master hundreds of techniques. There are maybe 20 that would make you move confidently in the kitchen, but even having 5-10 mastered in your back pocket can transform how you approach cooking.

The problem with recipes is that they turn you into a robot. You're following steps on autopilot, not really understanding the 'why' behind what you're doing — or even the 'what', honestly. That's what makes cooking feel like a chore instead of an experience. When you're just following steps, cooking becomes another task to check off your list (gotta feed yourself to stay alive, right?). But when you understand the techniques behind what you're doing, the absolute dread behind making dinner can shift from a source of stress into a chance to play and create.

Mastering techniques takes the mental load out of cooking, too. Instead of anxiously checking and re-checking steps, worried you'll mess something up or miss something, you can have that rom-com kitchen moment you probably feel doesn't actually exist (like how I feel when runners talk about finding zen on their morning jogs, because how) — a bevvy in hand, music playing, actually enjoying the process. When you know the 'why' behind what you're doing, cooking becomes less about following rules and more about finding your flow, which is where the fun comes in.

Following recipes also takes time. Time to study the recipes to make sure you don’t miss and ingredient or step. Time to go back and check the recipe when you’ve forgotten what’s next, or are anxious you’re missing something again. When you understand the techniques and find that flow we talked about, you end up saving yourself time. Not to mention, you can probably put a movie or podcast on in the background and not miss a beat there or in your pan. Or maybe even finally calling that friend or relative that’s been on your list to call for weeks.

I see this recipe-dependence all the time in my cooking classes. When I send recipes ahead of time, students get so fixated on following the exact steps, even with me right there to catch them if something goes wrong. I'll watch them on camera, heads down, reading their recipe sheets instead of looking up to ask questions or engage with what's actually happening in their pans. That's why I now wait until after class to share recipes.

This isn’t to throw shade on recipes, recipe creators, or recipe books at all. There is a time and place for that, which we will get to in a minute.

My hope for you is to be able to go from thinking you have “nothing in your kitchen” to make dinner to treating it as a fun mystery basket moment. Like, imagine it's Thursday night and you've got random ingredients in your fridge that are about to go bad. With recipe-dependent cooking, you'd spend 30 minutes scrolling through recipes, only to find that each one requires three other ingredients you don't have. You’re definitely not going to the store, you get fed up, and end up ordering takeout, again. But when you understand techniques? Those seemingly random ingredients become opportunities. You know how to sauté, how to build flavors, how to create a sauce — suddenly, you're not lost without a recipe roadmap.

I understand that building trust with yourself in the kitchen takes time. If you’re not quite there yet, here's my suggestion for easing into this approach: When you find a recipe you want to try, make it three times. The first time, follow it exactly as written — pay attention to the techniques so you know what the process is, and you’ll also be able to understand the recipe as the chef or recipe writer intended it. The second time, use the ingredient list but try making it without reading the steps (you’ve already identified which techniques to use). By the third time, you're ready to freestyle — adjust ingredients, play with proportions, cater it to your own taste buds.

And don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying to toss your recipe books in the trash or leave them to collect dust, untouched on a shelf. They're so valuable for inspiration and ideas. I still utilize recipes often, but when I look at a recipe, I quickly scan the ingredient list and techniques, then set it aside and do my own thing. It's basically like having a conversation with another cook rather than following their orders, bouncing ideas off each other for the next iteration of a dish.

My challenge to you? Next time you're in the kitchen, slow down and notice the techniques you're using. Things to consider: What am I actually doing here? Where have I used this technique before? How could I use it with different ingredients?

At the end of the day, cooking isn't about perfectly following someone else's instructions — it's about creating something that brings you (or your guests) joy. Everyone's taste buds are different, every meal has its own purpose, and every guest has their preferences. Understanding techniques gives you the freedom to adapt and create dishes that work perfectly for your use case, whether you're meal prepping for yourself, hosting a dinner party, or cooking for picky eaters.

Here are some technique-based posts to get you started:

Kristyn Granahan
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